I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
