ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
