it was like his penis was on wheels.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize