Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
