The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize