Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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