I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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