I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
