He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
