I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think my vagina is haunted
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
