If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
