3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
