getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
