if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
