STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
