I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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