Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
