So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
