i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize