dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
