Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
