Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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