im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
