If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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