and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
