So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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