He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
