I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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