Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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