Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
