its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
