im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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