Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
