woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
