ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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