Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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