I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
