these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
