Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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