ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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