omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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