but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
