I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
