He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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