Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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