Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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