Who wears a wallet chain?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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