But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
