Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
