Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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