I'm eating all of the evidence.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
