Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize