ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
