guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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