Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
wow bdsm is so cute
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize