The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
