We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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