yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
