dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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