Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
