Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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