Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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