i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
