There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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