I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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