wanna go halves on a baby?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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