Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
