i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
