i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
