honey bunches of taint.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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